Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi peacefully passed from this life on 3 July 2014 at his home in Boulder Colorado. Rab Zelman, as he was known by those who knew and loved him, wrote the profound book “From Age-ing to Sage-ing’ and was the founder of the Spiritual Eldering Institute.

Reb Zelman presented Sage-ing as a process of spiritual growth that would enable elders to take up their ancient function as wisdom keepers in ways that fit our 21st Century world.

If you haven’t read his book I really do recommend it to you and you can read more about his contribution to the world of the elder here.

Elderly lady

Maybe it is because we have just had Alzheimer’s Awareness Week but there does seem to be a constant flow of information on Alzheimer’s Disease and other forms of Dementia, but the story is very mixed.

I know from the Community Gathering events that we hold that dementia is a greater fear for many as they age than even cancer. The spectre of loss of mental function and of any control of our life is too much for us to contemplate. We also don’t want our families and loved ones to have to suffer the onerous task of being our carers.

The current statistics show that the incidence of dementia will keep on growing as the population continues to age although there is some evidence from the UK that the growth itself has plateaued. However despite the huge amount invested in research for a “cure” the results are not good as this article from the UK demonstrates.

But the news is not all bad. We all know that exercise is good for us in helping to prevent heart disease, depression and diabetes but now new research show that exercise can also help protect against Alzheimer’s in those at increased risk. You can read the research study here.

Alzheimer’s is a fatal illness with a life expectancy of, on average, eight years so how do we explain the case of Christine Bryden who continues to baffle doctors after 20 years. Christine told her story last week on Australian Story and it raises so many questions and offers the prospect that we can impact the trajectory of the disease.

Hence the title of this post, “The Complex News on Dementia.” There is still so much more to learn and understand and I would love to hear your stories.

Roseann Tenhunan and her Daughter

In the surveys that have been undertaken 70% of people express a wish to die at home, about 16% get to do so. Not only can this be distressing for all the individuals and families involved, it often means that scarce resources in hospital wards and emergency departments are being used to provide marginal extra time to those at the end of their life. And these extreme interventions are often at the cost of a peaceful and meaningful death.

One of the ways we can change this is by talking about our wishes for how we want to die and there is now a strong movement to encourage that conversation through projects such as Dying to Know Day and Death Cafes, but also promotion from government for us to all put in place Advanced Care Directives.

None of this will mean much unless there are more services to support us and our families dying at home. There are more and more home palliative care medical teams being established and now the NSW government has allocated $35M in new funding for Palliative Care Services in NSW which offers practical support in the time leading up to death.

In this edition of 7.30 NSW we learn what this means to Roseann and her family. This is a very touching program and we must be grateful for their generosity in sharing these precious final moments.

Have you had the conversation with your loved ones about how you want to die?

There has been a lot of discussion in the press and on the airways recently about older people in the workforce.

• the treasurer and others have suggested the need to raise the retirement age to 70
• Commissioner Susan Ryan has talked about the age discrimination shown by employers and recruitment agencies and the skills, talents and experience that is being missed out on
• the ageing of the teaching and nursing workforce and the impending shortages that will occur as they retire
• the benefits to the individual of continuing to work for longer, not just financially but in terms of ongoing wellbeing

It is such a complex topic with so many different perspectives, and so often the focus is on the problems but there are also opportunities. I enjoyed this positive tale about a happy 80 year old worker in Wollongong.

We have so much more choice than those that went before us. My husband is still working full-time at 75 and, being self employed, I don’t see myself stopping work for an awfully long time. What choices are  you making? Or have they been made for you by forced retirement, ill-health or financial imperative?

The conversation has started and we will see where it goes.

This is what one man has created through his passion and vision.

Will Steger, an influential voice calling for preservation of the Arctic and the Earth, is best known for his legendary polar explorations. For more than 50 years, he has traveled tens of thousands of miles by kayak and dogsled, leading some of the most significant polar expeditions in history.

The Steger Wilderness Center for Innovation and Leadership is the next and final phase of his larger mission to keep the planet sustainable for future generations. Located in Minnesota’s north woods, on the edge of the Boundary Waters Canoe Area, the Steger Wilderness Center for Innovation and Leadership will host leaders across disciplines. With emphasis on the transformative power of the wilderness, the Center will create the conditions that ignite break-through ideas and solutions to today’s pressing problems.

Will is using all his experience and wisdom to make a difference in the world and I love the way the generations are working together. I am sure that we all want to do the same and leave a legacy behind when we die. Fortunately we won’t all be called to contribute in the same way, our uniqueness will set the pathway.

What legacy do you want to leave behind? Come along to our WOW Community Gathering on 15 December with Walter Bellin to learn how to develop your leadership.
You can book here.

One of the great joys of getting older is that we can turn our attention to those things that bring joy, those things that fire our passion. We so often spend our earlier years focussed on our education, our career and our families and this may mean we put on hold our creative urges.

In this blog Adele Horin explores how those in the last third of our live can rediscover their creative spirit and a new lease on life. For me I have recently joined the Threshold Choir, we sing to those who are dying to ease their transition, as well as in nursing homes to bring joy to the residents. As well as being such a privilege to open our hearts and voices to our recipients, it gives me a deep sense of connectedness to myself, my spirit and my soul.  No matter how tired I am on rehearsal nights, by the end of the evening I feel grounded, enlivened and joyful, what a discovery!

My other creative outlets is to go to Ecstatic Dance, a form of dancing meditation. The form I usually do is 5Rhythms, developed by Gabrielle Roth, and run here in Sydney by Michelle Mahrer, it would be lovely to meet you on the dance floor while we all meet ourselves. You can find out more here.

Have you discovered your creative spark? Have you taken the time to listen to those inner voices that have been ignored for so long

This post follows on from my previous one where Kathleen Taylor urged us not to wait until we are at the end of our lives to find our real selves. In her TEDx talk she referred to the work of Bronnie Ware and this list she created of the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Number one on the list is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me,” in other words to live a more authentic life.

Have you taken time out for yourself to stop, listen and reflect on your life so far and figure out what you want in the future? On this beautiful spring day here in Sydney, Australia I enjoyed yoga and meditation on the deck as the sun came up and took some time to listen to my inner voice. What is important now so that I don’t lie on my deathbed contemplating the regrets that Bronnie encountered in her work in palliative care?

Considering my death rather than hiding away from it is opening so many new pathways for my spirit to explore. I am so grateful that I have the opportuniity.

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

–by Bronnie Ware,  Feb 23, 2012

Last week I went along to the Launch of Dying to Know Day, an initiative of The Groundswell Project, whose aim is to encourage all Australians to develop new knowledge and attitudes about how to deal with death and bereavement and support each other at the end of life.

Dying to Know Day is an annual day of action dedicated to bringing to life conversations and community actions around death and dying. The inaugural Dying to Know Day is August 8th, 2013 and there is a wide range of community activities arranged around the country.

Dying to Know Day seeks to break the silence around death and dying and stimulate a discussion that genuinely connects people on the most profound level, not as experts, but as people with the same dreams, hopes, fears and concerns.

I am hosting a free afternoon tea at the Kirribilli Neighbourhood Centre, 16-18 Fitzroy Street, Kirribilli, from 1.45 till 3pm with Fran Taylor-Marshall. We aim to bring a unique blend of practical solutions, personal support and guidance to the realm of death and dying. Join us in this conversation from an engaging, creative and loving approach to what will be the final hour of our lives.

Call me, Gerry O’Sullivan, on 0412 392 420 to let us know you are coming.

You may like to start thinking about dying by visiting this blog by Kerrie Noonan of The Groundswell Project where she discusses the ten facts of death that everyone should know.

What does this topic bring for you? Does it make you anxious, or does it feel liberating? What choices do you want to make and have you discussed these with your loved ones?